so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
