I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
