Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
