She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
