I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
