He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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