I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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