One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
