i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
