i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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