So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
