i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
