the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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