i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
