belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
