RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Congratulations! We have a period
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