so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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