Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
