she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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