What did we do last night that was yellow?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
