you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
