did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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