I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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