I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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