Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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