did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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