walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
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Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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