I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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