wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
