You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
