Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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