im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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