the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
