Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
