he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
