see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize