sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
