After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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