More tranny stories later!
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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