Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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