i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
