there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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