i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
