absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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