Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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