Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
