Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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