oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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