what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
