Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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