After last night, I could never be a politician.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
they need to just BURY HIM!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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