Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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