in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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