okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The air was thick with penises
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
